i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
