ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
