After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize