We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
