Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
