no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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