i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
