New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Drake has all the answers
I have already put on my inside pants.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
