North Korea, Best Korea!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
