Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize