You're completely useless in the revolution.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
