you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
