This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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