oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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