he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
