sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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