well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
