It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
