scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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