So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Watching her eat just hurts me
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
