So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
