He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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