Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
