she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
