she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
