I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
