It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize