You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
