I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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