girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
