if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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