I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
