shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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