Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize