I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
