kristin has been a bad kristin
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
