She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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