they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
