he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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