Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
