Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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