ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
