I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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