I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
