I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
