Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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