ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
