I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
