I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
