I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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