so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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