Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
