he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
