Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize