I will die if light touches me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
