Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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