it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
