grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
